i want it all

so for awhile there, i was not feelin it. physically, emotionally....i couldn't get myself motivated so it was making everything that much harder to and i felt like it was knocking me down. it was no good. that feeling of being a complete failure? it sucks...especially when u've put a lot of pressure on urself to do well. but on the plus side, i'm feelin much better! my ass is still being kicked with workouts and training and conditioning, but i don't feel like i'm failing at it every second now! woohoo!! :) i feel motivated to do things again! yesterday i had my first try at partner acro with lauren (she's in my program). she was basing me and we were able to actually do a couple things which was cool! i'm excited to learn more of that! we are having a joint private in october for it. since we get to pick what we want our privates in for october, i'm doing that along with duo trap, german wheel, and wire walking! it's gonna be fun!!
although it's been a long couple of days, and even though i'm tired, i've been working on pushing through it. i felt like i had a good fabric class tonight even though there were moments where i was sure i was gonna be stuck upside down forever, but i worked through it. i say upside down because i was literally upside down at one point early in the class thinking "holy shit. i am so f-ing tired right now, my muscles are exhausted, i don't even know how my leg is hooked on and holding me right now....how then hell am i gonna get my hands back to the fabric and have the strength to pull myself back up?!?!" i had to hang there for a minute, but i got a little burst of energy and got myself. the rest of the class we basically played a game of add on. i thought i would never make it....but i did. and i past that point of tired to my second wind and ended up having a pretty good class! :) i'm still tired and my muscles don't really like me right now...and sore...and i just realized i still have 5 minutes of abs left to do today. damn. oh well. i just need a song to do them to...."everyone's a little bit racist" done! well, song picked. i'll actually do them after i'm done with this. i wish american idiot had a 5 minute song. i was at the gym today, and put that on while i ran....AWESOMENESS!!!! i love that show anyways, but what a great soundtrack to listen to when i need to get pumped and motivated to move my ass, cause i sooo didn't want to do it at all when i walked in with t, who made me go, thank god! i was going nuts! in a good way...it was a good workout. that's my new workout motivator music! now i just need to do my abs and i can get some sleep before my 9am ass kicking! at least i have afro jazz again tomorrow night (which was tons of fun last week!). now i just need a job and i'll be set. ish.
oh....and to decide what to do this sunday: acro jam, circus/fair going, or drop into a flying trapeze class???? i can't decide. insert blog title here.